Correcting with Love

HOMILY: Twenty-Third Sunday in Ordinary Time

Matthew 18:15-20

10 September 2023 

Fr. Ricky Cañet Montañez, AA

I am sure you have all seen the video of the drag queen dressed as Jesus Christ head-banging to an adulteration of the Our Father. That video irritates me no end. They call it a drag performance. It is a display of exaggerated femininity or masculinity involving cross-dressing for purposes of entertainment. He claims his detractors are against drag performances and self-expression. He cannot seem to understand that it is not his craft, per se, but the theme of his performance that is offensive to the whole of Christianity since his intent was not to glorify the God, we consider sacred but rather to make Him a form of entertainment, a laughingstock. He continues to misconstrue the criticism. Personally, I think he is just exploiting the situation so he can gain popularity. If one thing is clear, he refuses to admit he offended anyone. 

The central theme of our Gospel today is all about fraternal correction. To call one’s attention to our brothers and sisters’ mistakes and wrongdoings with the purpose of correcting them, is never easy. Well, no one wants to be corrected. And most of us would choose to avoid the risk of offending others by pointing out and correcting their mistakes. Jesus offers us some practical advice on how to approach an erring member in the community. Jesus gives us three easy steps. One, do it in private. Two, do it in the presence of a few who matter. Three, if it cannot be helped, do it before the whole community. Jesus even suggests that if the one at fault refuses to submit to correction, this may lead to the person’s mandatory separation from the group. 

Does this sound pretty severe and drastic to you?  Actually, this is an expression of love. Fraternal correction creates an opportunity for the offender to rectify his/her error and make amends. Such is an exercise of tough loving on the part of the offended. We correct others because we care for them. At the heart of our correction is not so much to emphasise the idea “I am right!” and “You are wrong!” What should motivate us is love and concern for the other. As St. Paul says in the Second Reading: “Owe nothing to anyone, except to love one another.” (Romans 13:8) We call the attention of those who have wronged others to whatever wrong, disrespect, or shortcoming that they are guilty of because we want to better them, to correct them. We want them to become better disciples of our Lord Jesus Christ. Thus, a Christian cannot afford to be morally indifferent, to close one’s eyes, and to remain silent when a brother or sister chooses blindly to follow the path to destruction. 

We all have blind spots. We need people who truly care for us to confront us and to correct us whenever we make false moves in life.  Those who persist in their wrongdoing essentially separate themselves from the Church. By their actions, they claim that Jesus’ ways are wrong and that their ways are better. Reconciliation requires the admission of guilt from the offender. Only then can they truly be re-integrated into God’s Family. We all need people who can be honest with us and show us tough love. Sometimes we need people to help us repent and try to change for the better. 

Sometimes we think that keeping quiet is the best move… that it is part of expressing mutual love. But it is not. Sometimes, even those close to us choose to turn a blind eye because they think they are being kind or understanding. However, if we allow our loved ones to persist in error, we are not helping them become better people. In the First Reading (Ezekiel 33:7-9), the prophet is appointed to be a watchman for the entire House of Israel. He fulfils this mission only if he warns the people of their wicked ways. If the people remained adamant in walking in the ways of God, even with his warning, he can be rest assured that he has fulfilled his responsibility. Similarly, it would be a remiss on our part if we do not help someone by our fraternal correction. 

Maybe parents with young children nowadays have to evaluate their ways of effecting discipline. Modern thinking tells parents to be lenient with their children. They teach them to coddle their children and fear their potential to rebel or sink into depression. Do not be fooled into thinking your permissiveness will be offset by future life experiences that will teach them valuable lessons. If you wait that long, it will be too late. Children need the guidance of their parents at a young age. They need to be taught right from wrong during the formative years. To the parents, you need to be there for your children if they are to grow up morally upright and resilient. Keeping quiet will not do them any good.

These days, the trend is to be accepting of all kinds of opinions even if they are far from the truth. How many times have we encountered people who say: “Everyone’s opinion is right. Let us not be judgmental!” If we just accepted every opinion as right, how can we uphold and act according to the teachings of the Christian faith? Not everything conforms to the way of Jesus. Everything that does not conform to the way of the Lord Jesus is unacceptable for His true followers. What is wrong cannot be considered right no matter how we twist it and turn it and try to make it conform to the truth. I recall Bishop Robert Baron commenting on the topic of inclusivity saying that “although Jesus promoted inclusivity, it was unambiguously and consistently accompanied by His summons to conversion. Indeed, the first word out of Jesus’ mouth in his inaugural address in the Gospel of Mark is not ‘Welcome!’ but rather ‘Repent!’”  

Needless to say, we all desire to grow and mature as persons. This will only happen if we humbly recognise our imperfections, and receive and welcome corrections open-heartedly, open-mindedly. Ultimately, with God’s transforming grace, we will learn to conform our lives to the Truth who is Christ Jesus Himself.

photo from internet sources