Graced to Love as God Loves

Homily: Sixth Sunday of Easter (B)

9 May 2021

John 15:9-17

Fr. Ricky C. Montanez, AA

Many single girls try to avoid family and school reunions because they end up in very awkward situations with people persistently asking them “Why are you still single?” “When are you getting married? Don’t you want your own family?” Some enterprising Filipinos have actually capitalised on very witty, humorous, sometimes scathing replies to these questions.  A local celebrity recently tweeted… “If motherhood or getting married is the best thing that ever happened to you, I am happy for you. I’m sure it is the happiest place to be. Pero okay naman ako sa Jollibee. Kanyan-kanyang trip lang yan. Naiiyak nga ako sa magandang sunset and it’s also the best thing for me.” 

A single friend asked me, “Why do they make me feel less of a person because I’m single? Do they really think I’m lonely? Do they think there is no love in the life of someone who chooses to be single? On the other hand, a married friend whose marriage was not blessed with children shared that she would feel really sad whenever people insinuate that it is only when she bears her own child that she will feel and experience what true love really is.

I myself, am no stranger to such insensitivities. One time, as I was preparing for ordination, a classmate jokingly asked, “Why do you want to be ordained a priest? You will be single forever. Who will cry over your coffin or urn when you leave this planet?” (Don’t bother asking me what I told him in reply!)  Don’t you find it funny how some people perceive love as a situation created for them as the consequence of having a life partner or their own kids? 

Love is in all of us. And paradoxically, when we give love, we receive love. It doesn’t have to be a spouse or a biological child. There are single people who commit themselves to worthwhile causes where they give of themselves to uplift sectors of society or to save the planet for future generations.  There are single children who have devoted themselves to caring for their siblings or caring for their aging and sick parents. We priests, have the capacity to be spiritual fathers to thousands of people entrusted to us by the Bishop or our religious superiors because we don’t need to earn a living and provide for a wife and kids. Love is inclusive. It is for everyone. It does not limit itself to specific types of people.  As Peter attests in the First Reading after seeing that the gift of the Holy Spirit has been poured out on the Gentiles also, “In truth, I see that God shows no partiality.” (Acts 10:34) All are acceptable to God, Jew and Gentile, man and woman, slave and free… God’s invitation to love is for all! 

This Sunday’s gospel passage from John, is all about love.  We find Jesus urging His disciples twice to “remain in His love” and twice “to love one another”. If we look closely, these two commands are actually interrelated as remaining in His love is to love others. What is at the heart of the command is the invitation for all of us believers, without exception, to love the way Jesus loves — a total self-giving for the sake of the one being loved. It is a selfless offering of himself for others. Jesus says, “[There is] no greater love than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.” (John 15:13) And that is exactly what He did not just in the way He died where we are told His blood and water flowed in mercy for all of humanity, but also in the way that He lived, his priority was making sure that the people He loved were restored to wholeness and nourished by the word of God. 

Thus, when we love we must be willing to put the good of the people we love before our own wants; before our own needs. Often this involves varying degrees of sacrifice.  I recently saw this interview of a local celebrity mom who shared her pain and hardship in trying to be the best mom for her son with special needs. She noted how she changed her workaholic and partying lifestyle so she could properly care for him. She shared how hurt she was when her son attended parties and none of the kids wanted to play with him so he learned to bring his own toys so he could play by himself.  And when the school refused to allow him to march at graduation for fear he may throw a tantrum, she staged his own graduation march in their barangay plaza and invited church friends to be his audience. She swallowed her pride and bore the rejections and found ways to move past them. How selfless is the love of a mother! 

As it is Mother’s Day this Sunday, we celebrate the love of moms for their children. I would say the love of a Mom, a Mama, a Nanay to her beloved child is the most magnanimous, the most giving, the gentlest, the most enduring and most patient kind. It is difficult to be a mother, even when you share parenting duties with a husband. Imagine what it must be like to be raising a child on your own! Today we also call to mind the sacrifices of many single mothers to ensure the future of their children. But this motherly love is not only exemplified by biological mothers themselves but also of those who in their own ways have been mothers to others. I have a single aunt who cared for me and my siblings and her other nephews and nieces out of the goodness of her heart. There are even nannies who cared for their wards as their own children. Last Thursday a good friend of mine and his family asked me to do a virtual blessing for their now retired “yaya” who is very sick in Negros Occidental. She meant a lot to them for the love she lavished on them. 

In the passage from John’s First Epistle, we are invited to replicate this example of love shown by Jesus in the Gospel. We need not fear that we may not have the capacity to love as such because it is God who gives us the grace to do so. “Beloved, let us love one another, because love is of God; everyone who loves is begotten by God and knows God.”  (1 John 4:7) To love like Jesus and lay down our lives for others is very much against man’s natural tendency for self-preservation and thus, it cannot originate from our human capabilities but rather in God. We know how it is to love because we first feel His love for us. “In this is love: not that we have loved God, but that he loved us.” (1 John 4:10) It is God who initiates this love as exemplified in Jesus. “As the Father loves me, so I also love you.” (John 15:9) Clearly, the source of this selfless love is divine love itself. This is so because love is the very being of God. St. John says: “God is love.” (1 John 4:8) We too, are granted a share in this nature when we are “begotten by God” through baptism — love becomes part of our being as well. The Spirit of love has been poured into the hearts of all believers to make us capable of this self-giving love of Christ regardless of our status or vocation in life.   

In summary, take to heart that as Christians, our loving should take after the selfless and self-giving way Jesus loves us; and how greatly God the Father has loved us first and most deeply in Jesus. Jesus paid a high price to express this love for us and to teach us what love is. So, learn to love. It doesn’t matter if you are called to be a mother to your own kids or to help raise the children of others, or whether your vocation is to be married, single, or called to the religious life, love is within all of us because we have Jesus. Let us love as God loves each one of us — faithfully, truly, unconditionally.