When We Can’t Shut Our Eyes for A Brother… A Sister…

Homily: Twenty-Third Sunday in Ordinary Time (A)

Matthew 18:15-20 

06 September 2020

Fr. Ricky C. Montanez

Have you ever had to call someone’s attention and correct him/her for a mistake committed? This may be typical for parents raising children, but for the rest of us it isn’t easy. How do you admonish a colleague, a stranger or someone of greater stature? Well, no one wants to be corrected. It is a blow to one’s confidence and an embarrassment to be caught in error. On the other hand, few of us would want to be in the position of having to correct other people’s mishaps, wrongdoings, faults, shortcomings, mistakes. We risk fostering animosity and being thought of as self- righteous. Most times, we just ended up ignoring things and letting others persist in their error.  

I have been a loyal subscriber of this TELCO for the past 20 years now. Their service is far from perfect. Their Twitter account is never without complaints and angry rants. On a daily basis, customer service representatives are on the receiving end of gentle reminders, serious threats and uncalled-for profanities. The responses, some of which are pre-recorded, are worded in such a way that encourages dialogue between the agent and client. Here are few examples… “We are sorry to hear that you are dismayed. Please check your inbox as we have sent you a private message. Thanks.” “We don’t want you to feel this kind of frustration. Would it be all right for you to share the details of your concern via Direct Messaging (DM) for proper assistance? Thanks.” I find their approach most impressive. They manage to be polite and open when being told their service sucks. 

In this Sunday’s Gospel Jesus offers us advice on how to approach an erring member in the community. Christ says… One, do it in private. Two, do it in the presence of a few who matter. Three, if it cannot be helped do it before the whole community. Jesus admonishes that if the one at fault refuses to submit to the correction, this may even lead to his/her exclusion. Does this sound pretty severe and drastic? Well, remember that the correction of an erring brother or sister interestingly enough always begins in the private domain between the erred and the erring one. It offers the one in the wrong an opportunity to rectify and to make up for his/her misdemeanour. This is what we call fraternal correction. Such action is an exercise of love from the one making the correction. We correct others because we care for them and want them to improve and grow. If the matter is of a moral aspect, the endeavour is to lead them to be better persons and disciples of our Lord Jesus Christ. Isn’t it that when we truly love another person, we desire what is good for that loved one? It is not to shame another, or to make one’s self appear superior. Love. For Jesus, that is the only motivation for offering fraternal correction to another. This is what St. Paul means by the debt of mutual love — the only debt we owe one another. “Owe nothing to anyone, except to love one another.” (Romans 13:8)

Ezekiel is appointed by God in the First Reading as a watchman for the House of Israel. As a custodian of the ways of God for the people of Israel, Ezekiel is told, “If you do not speak out to dissuade the wicked from his way, the wicked shall die for his guilt, but I will hold you responsible for his death.” (Ezekiel 33:8) Don’t laugh at Ezekiel’s tough luck because the same is expected of us Christians. We cannot afford to be morally indifferent and to simply shut our eyes and remain silent when a brother or sister wanders in ignorance on a path to destruction. In our hands is a grave responsibility for people’s salvation. Yes, we are our brother’s or sister’s keepers! Sometimes we think it best to keep quiet to keep the peace and uphold mutual respect. But if we do so, how can we make the necessary changes within? How can we grow and learn from our mistakes if no one comes to our rescue to gently admonish us? We all have blind spots. We all need to be made aware of them through a brother and a sister’s loving reproach. 

Are we to expect that our efforts will be met with humility? Perhaps more often not. But this should not dissuade us. When you have gone out of your way to confront and to correct an erring brother or sister and he/she chooses not to heed your advice, you can be at peace because you have done all that is required of you! God does not ask us to follow this person around and ensure they follow our counsel. God assures Ezekiel, “But if you warn the wicked, trying to turn him from his way, and he refuses to turn from his way, he shall die for his guilt, but you shall save yourself.” (Ezekiel 33:9) Now that their attention has been called, it is up to them to make use of their free will—to choose whether they will take your advice or not. If they will shun your guidance or listen…The ball is now in their court, so to speak. 

Our young people these days are in the habit of calling people out in social media. There is a culture of making a mockery of other netizens. For what— to elicit laughs? To be deemed an influencer? To get something to go viral at another’s expense? Shockingly, even adults have followed suit! How often have we come across local celebrity moms berating their popular kids on Twitter and engaging in an all-out Twitter war polarizing fans eager to weigh in on the squabble? Or what about FB and Instagram posts highlighting someone’s fashion faux pas or grammatical errors? These examples may seem superficial but social media is teeming with critical matters, sometimes causing depression and tempting self-harm. Is humiliating the person really the right way to do it? Shaming the person only causes him/her to shy away from owning up to his/her mistake and from doing something to rectify the blunder. In an article I read it said: “Social media is the easiest platform where you can fire bullets that you can’t ever take back.”

On more than one occasion I’ve been told that our “stay at home situation” these days has inevitably caused family members or housemates to be at each other’s throats. Naturally, being in such small confines create countless opportunities to get on each other’s nerves. When I was growing up, my Tatay (Father) was often away at work and we were seldom together and I valued what little time we had before he passed away when I was 10. I recall seeing playmates getting scolded by their folks for playing out late or failing to clean up, for talking back or being remiss in their house chores. To me, it meant their parents cared enough to set them straight. Let this be a time to show concern for one another, to help each other, and to not hesitate to offer charitable advice whenever it is necessary. Remember, it is love that must reign supreme in our homes, especially at this time when the virus endangers our togetherness.  

No one is perfect. Not you. Not me. As we live, we make mistakes, we learn, we grow. Life is tough and sometimes overwhelming such that we fail to see ourselves clearly. The people around us can serve as mirrors reflecting that which we need to improve in ourselves, only if we let them. All of us are finding our way on this earth, together. Let us learn to be responsible for one another and help one another to attain the fullness of life Jesus wants for us all.

Photo from artpetty.com